[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Monday, September 17th, 2012|
so i have been writing! it's all nice and fun sometimes, but i'm kinda stuck atm. i wanna get through chapter three but characer back stories are stealing my muse.
but i have a total of 14 coupls, the yaoi boys, k&k and g&h, and then 11 more. it was needed to round it out. i'm thinking this might be a novel, or three, with some prequals pertaining to the couples specifically. i think the prequels would be novellas? shorter, simpler, sweeter, and just there to support. not really into the nitty gritty like the main story. i htink tho that E&R will just have to deal with only being in the main book. technically i could make a little book about them, but i already have their story in this one. since they're not a main drive to the story i think that will do.
why am i babbling to no one? because i like to talk to nobody. it's much less threatening.
|Thursday, July 26th, 2012|
not sure what i am waiting for atm. just kinda am. i wanna go to bed but i feel bad no sealing this pony's eyes before bed. and then i think of all the art on my plate and i wanna do that too, but then... i'm tired. so instead i'm posting on a dead LJ... in fact i'm only here because of the LJ's of ppl who translate Gackt. i'm still struggling to learn Japanese, especially the reading, so i follow ppl who know more than me.
why Gackt? why not Rain, like a friend of mine, or someone American? why Japanese? that's like asking why Ponies. who knows why i'm latched onto these things. i can tell you tho that my art is so happy with ponies. and Gackt really inspires a lot of things for me, like my stories.
i took 2 bleach based characters, a random set of yaoi anthro pony characters and stuffed them into the same world. well minus the bleach stuff, and the boys are human now instead of anthro ponies.
and to top it off they now have nationalities. well, as much as 2 aliens can, cause the girls, they be aliens...
which i guess isn't that odd, if you heard the story you'd know why. i'm gathering my notes now and preparing to write. i want to get the first novel done soon. i would like that to be the whole story tho. i don't want something that goes on and on and on. i want 1 huge novel, or a trilogy at most. but i don't think i have enough story for a trilogy...
the gyst? 3 couples, gay male couple, kinda is the glue, the home base, second couple is the driving drama, third is the fun, quirky couple. but there needs to be more characters... in all i'd say i need 3 or 4 more couples, but secondary of course. heck the gay couple is kinda secondary, they don't really drive the story, but they do give the main characters a center.
so of course they're where i want to start. but is it a mistake to start with someone other than the main characters? i prefer to do the surprises. things that are unexpected. i would be pleased as punch if this got published starting with them, and then in the end the reader realizes they weren't the main characters. i wonder where in the story people would realize that. perhaps when the the main goals are figured out. that these two human men are essentially useless in what's coming up next. doesn't remove them from the story tho.
why the other 2 main couples?
well because the 2 female characters have been in my head for quite some time, kind of being rolled about and kinks worked out. smoothing and refining them. sanding out the rough edges... S didn't even have a great back story til recently. she was just sorta an outcast from her family, but now, she has some depth. and, believe it or not, she's as close to American as most ppl get in this story.
K has actually turned out to be half Japanese. yeh half alien too.... strange right? it works for her.
but making their male counterparts has been really hard. E and R were kinda easy... well to a bit, but Kj and H... Kj has his basis now, but even that flips and flops sometimes, i guess he needs more smoothing. H is kinda easy. he's basic and normal, the most normal anyone is actually in this. at first he was going to be very tough, then timid, but now i think he might be a roll with the punches type of guy. it works cause S is sort of a punchy gal. he won't get far if he's timid with her, or too strict.
i want parts of the story to definitely focus on the romance aspect. each couple has their own story, why they're together, and their own dynamics. R never asks E for more than he's willing to give, but it becomes obvious E is willing to give EVERYTHING TO R, Kj never considers any path but to be with K from the time his eyes met hers, and S refuses to play games with H, he either takes her as is or she moves on. which is sort of not, if you read it you'll understand, but in all honesty if H rejects S she's not going to survive long. poor S, being so tied to one soul, K at least had a choice of sorts. it would have been harder, but Kj wasn't the only compatible choice for her.
and that doesn't even mention the unicorns.
|Saturday, June 9th, 2012|
this really isn't a place to find me. i cleaned up some stuff and the rest i'm leaving. if you love me you follow me on FB, DA, and/or twitter.
|Wednesday, September 28th, 2005|
|Tuesday, September 27th, 2005|
|today's accident update
this morning i took the wrappings off. 10 stitches. i still don't want to look, nathan counted for me. erilyn is really frightened and wouldn't sleep by herself last night, she is afraid of the cieling spinning and coming down. we have been letting her talk about it and will continue to do so until she doesn't think about it anymore. i have a seatbelt burn on my neck, i love it. it's my favorite injury, ever. the kids are literally all ok physically. carol has been behaving so i think she might be "scared straight" we have been talking to her about it too, in case she needs to get anything out.
|Monday, September 26th, 2005|
well nathan came home today so i could take him to work and take erilyn to ballet. we didn't even make it mile from home. it was just starting to rain when we got int he car, and there's this curve on the road we live just off of. nathan turned and started to come out of the curve fine, but soon we slid, and he kinda over-corrected.
we spun left, then right, and i'm not sure of too much after, except that we hit the embankment on our side of the road and flipped. we slid a little on my window (front passenger) and on our windshield, i'm not sure if we rolled from the windsheild to my window and then back or if we did my window then the windsheild, either way, i put my arm up to protect my face held onto the ceiling, i might have put it up when we lost control. my window busted and my arm took the brunt of it and some asphalt.
when we stopped i saw the blood on me, and just "took note" of it. turned to check the kids. i could hear carol crying, but brenna's car seat was not in the base that is supposed to hold it to the car. i asked where she was and her car seat, and her, we upright on the cieling with us up front. she's fine. but i'm calling evenflo and letting them have it!
some witnesses helped me out of the car as nathan worked to get the kids out. we put erilyn and brenna in one of their cars, and carol was held by antoher gentlemen. they were all fine, but i was bleeding quite a bit.
i sat at the side of the road as lots of people, a few medical, maybe emt's from the fire station, kept me distracted and breathing ok (i had started to hyperventilate.)
i refused a back board cause my back didn't hurt and i know i'd just be in worse pain waiting for x-rays and possible a cat scan. they did a neck brace cause my neck was getting tight and sore right away.
i'm ok. an er trip and 5 or 6 stitches later (i'll count when i take the dressing off tomorrow) and i've got some vicoden, i hope it works this time, it didn't the last time i needed it. all in all we're all ok. we had full coverage of our car insurance and so our vehicle should get replaced, a friend thinks we should calla lawyer, i'm gonna wait to see how the ins company reacts first. Current Mood: hurting
|Saturday, September 24th, 2005|
|cannot be for me
i am who i am, no more, no less.
i can feel the horse inside me,
restless at the gate.
chomping at the self imposed bit
heart pounding in anticipation.
i can feel the purr of the cat that resides in my breast
the need for night
and creature comforts
one person, maybe two
my only companions
i can feel the whimper of the dog that breathes within me
looking for acceptance
crying for loneliness
jumping for joy
when friends return
i can feel the caged bird in my hands
aching for a freedom
my pencil cannot give
this is me, and more.
i am me, and more.
but i am not enough for you
and never could be for him.
but i still cannot be for me.